I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
