that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
