Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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