I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
These tits shall not be calmed
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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