Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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