I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
