So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
