he thought i was a dude.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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