Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize