he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i love accidental penises.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
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