then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
