it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
