dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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