and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Pooping to opera.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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