Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize