He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
