garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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