She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
