I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
