dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
