just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
