Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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