I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
