My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
