Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
