is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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