why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
