Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
