entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
