no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize