I've blown a few things in my day
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
