Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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