My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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