i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize