Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
God, I missed his penis.
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