So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
