Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
