3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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