FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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