I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
