Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
