how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
