the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
