and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
