I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
