You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
