Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
