I just made out with a guy for $7.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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