Did you just see the Batmobile???
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
