New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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