i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize