I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There r osticjed everywhere
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
