You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
