the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Mom said you looked used
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
