I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
