mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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