Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
