I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize