i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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