I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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