i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
